Nha Trang

We arrived quite late but Kat managed to source an absolute bargain of a hotel, while Imy minded the bags. Feeling peckish, we strolled down the road to a hot dog joint and enjoyed a taste of the west. A spontaneous decision was made and we booked onto a snorkel trip for the next day. Little did we know that we had just booked on to the ultimate booze cruise, where "partying hard" was the main objective. Therefore, at 10am we found ourselves sipping on a beer and cringeing to the pit of our stomach at the 18 year olds prancing about to Carly Rae Jepson (although Kat couldn help a little foot tap in time to the tuuune).

BOOZE CRUISE

The first stop was an aquarium - not quite what we were expecting from the firt 'snorkel stop' but of course we didn't want to shell out any more dollar, so we sat around waiting for everyone. Back on the boat we were jubilant when we finally stopped at an actual snorkel spot. Donning our old-school masks we hit the crystal clear water and squealed with delight at the little fish. There were hundreds of Chinese tourists bobbing about in life jackets but luckily for us they didn't dare go out of their depth and we were able to snorkel in peace. 

Beach bum

After snorkelling, it was time for lunch and karaoke; the part of the trip that we had been dreading most. It actually turned our to be the highlight! The crew assembled a make shift drum set and dressed up as lady boys to belt out some tunes before bringing people of different nationalities up on stage to partake in a song from their country. The winner hands down was Japan, who after 2 beers was absolutely sloshed and just kept shouting out "Konnichiwa, I'm from Japan". He then sung his heart out, eyes closed and all.

'The best boy band in Vietnam'

After lunch it was time to jump off the top deck of the boat and enjoy the floating bar in a rubber ring. Next on the agenda of fun was sunbathing on deck chairs, which you obviously had to pay more money for. Alongside the annoying youngsters, we opted to stay on the boat, where a Puerto Rican whittered at us for what seemed like hours. Finally it was time to head back and we couldn't wait to meet back up with Alex and Rose, who were due to arrive that evening.

The floating bar

Daring devil

Opting to avoid the Sailing Club, the snazzy beach joint where eveyone from the boat trip had agreed to meet, we went across the road and made the most of happy hour, while playing pool with a nice Irish chap called Tommy. Imy kicked his butt.

Reunited with Rose and Alex, we made our way to Nha Trang's famous mud baths early the next morning. Covering ourselves in the brown gunk was actually quite a pleasant experience. Once our 15mins of fun was done we had a shower, then a mineral shower and finally a mineral bath. We felt like absolute ladies of leisure as we sat beside the pool drying off with ice creams in our chubby little hands.

Mineral bath

We spent the afternoon at the beach, choosing bracelets and nipping into the sailing club's loos whenever nature called.

Shagglers (sh*t hagglers)

All too soon it was time for our bus to Hoi An and Imy had to say a sad farewell to Kim, the (male) Cambodian group leader that she had become a tad obsessed with.

Mui Ne

Thinking Mui Ne would be a pristine beach town, we were a tad surprised to turn up and find a desolate Russian tourist resort. But alongside our bus pals, Rose and Alex, we managed to find some rather nice little bungalows. A walk along the one road that constitutes Mui Ne proved that there wasn't much more to see or do other than one of the tours that takes you to the nearby sand dunes, so we booked onto one for the following day.

We love a good hammock

After dinner at the cheapest restaurant we could find, we popped down to the local quiz night at the fanciest bar in town. We thought our valiant efforts would place us about sixth, but thanks to Imy knowing the names of Henry VIII's three illigitiate children and Rose being able to identify the theme tune to Ally McBeal, we came FIRST!! Absolutely buzzing from our win, we sipped on our winners' cocktails beside the pool, grinning like goons.

Number one baaaby

Winners' cocktails

After our tour guide eventually decided to rock up we headed off for the sand dunes. We first stopped at the fairy stream, where our delightful tour guide gave us half an hour to roam. We wandered up the stream and stumbled across an ostrich. Seizing the opportunity, we all had a ride around the enclosure. The ostrich was not a happy bunny. Scared that we had contracted ostrich rabies, we headed back to our radgey guide who took us to take photos of a fishing village.

Fairy in the fairy stream

Hold on tight

A damn fine ostrich

We then got to the white sand dunes and finally had the opportunity to partake in a little sand boarding. We had a race and Imy trumped Kat, before Rose took her down a peg or two in a full-on crash - really fun, apart from the aftermath of sand in every crevice possible. To finish the day, we were taken to the red sand dunes to watch the sunset. However, due to a sky full of ominous clouds it wasn't the best we have seen.

Sand crash

Took us ages to write that...

Sunset

After such a tiring day we headed to the sea front for a fresh fish supper (chicken for Imy). Kat finally got what she had been wanting for so long..a whole fresh lobster just for her!! It was a crustacean of meaty deliciousness.

Lobster destroyer

The next day we enjoyed a lovely relaxing morning beside a fancy pool, before trogging off to Nha Trang in the afternoon.

So at home

Ho Chi Minh City

Determined to outdo the scammers, we walked form the drop-off point to our hostel, which took all of 5 minutes. The 'kind' tuk tuk driver had told us it would be a half-hour walk. Kat and Imy: 2, Scammers: 1. Again we found ourselves in the lap of luxury in our A/C dorm..we could certainly get used to this.

To make the most of our day, we headed for the War remnants museum. On the way, we stopped off down a side alley to sample our first taste of local Vietnamese food. Luckily there was an english-speaking customer on the table next to us who trasnslated our order for the waiter, as he was a little confused by our hand gestures and crys for noodles. We had Pho Bo (a beef noodle soup) - the first of many Phos.

Pho Bo

We made it to the museum in no time due to Kat's skills as a walking GPS system. We raced around it as we only had an hour before it closed. It was another really sad reality of what people had to endure during the Vietnam war and we left with a desire to learn a lot more about the history of the country, so we bought a couple of books from a street vendour - one about the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia and one about Vietnam. On closer inspection, it transpired that the books were photocopies of the originals! We wondered why they were so cheap. Kat and Imy: 2, Scammers: 2.

Attention!

The next morning, we headed on a tour to the Cu Chi tunnels - a network of tiny tunnels that the Viet Cong used to fight the Americans. They were home to twelve thousand people for over two years and  contained kitchens, hospitals and "honeymoon suites".  On the way, we stopped at 'Handicapped Handcrafts'. Not wanting to purchase any giant vases, we sat in the shade and waited to get back on the bus. Our guide was brilliant, and constantly took the mick out of us fat westerners for not being able to fit in the tunnels, while he himself sported quite a gut. He showed us the markings on the trees which were used as a code, so that the Vietnamese would know whether the nearby tunnel was a safe zone or one of their ingenious traps. With a severe lack of weaponry, the Vietnamese had to be creative.

In and our pretty sharpish!

Western-adapted entry point

Peekaboo

Teeny tunnels

Our trip to the Cu Chi tunnels also offered us the chance to fire AK47s. Jumping at the chance, we donned big headphones and bought some ammo. We both think we were pretty good aims, but who knows!

Natural

Weakling

That evening we sat on tiny chairs on a bustling backpacker street. We bumped into a Welshman we had met in India who lives in Ho Chi Minh! So we tagged along with him and his pals. After watching them down several buckets of Vodka and Redbull, we declined their kind offer of getting on the back of their mopeds and going to a club, and instead stayed put at a nearby bar. 

Backpacker haven

20p beer!!

Next stop: Mui Ne for some beach time. 

Phnom Penh

We got a bus from kampot but this was no ordinary bus, this was a Cambodian luxury cruiser (wifi included)! As per usual, on arrival we got ripped off by a tuk tuk driver, who took us around the corner to our hostel. Kat and Imy: 1, Scammers: 1. For the first time since we have been away we experienced the bliss of A/C in this muggy heat. We had to pry ourselves away from the freshness of our dorm room to explore the capital.

First stop: food. We found the local market and dug into something noodley. Unfulfilled by our noodley dish, we also chomped on a fresh baguette before dropping Imy's camera off to get fixed. With such a lovely hotel  it would be silly to waste time, so we made the most of the pool...by playing pool beside it.

Fresh Eel anyone?

Stiinky

Up early we made a start on one of the most eye-opening and sad days of our trip. Alongside a French-Italian man named Bruno, we headed off to the killing fields, where  an audio guide talked us through the horror of the place. We learnt a lot about the Khmer Rouge and their awful regime led by Pol Pot, which resulted in millions of Cambodians being killed and tortured, without any western countries even realising. 

Bracelets left in commemoration

Being the apparent masochists that we are, we then went off to Tuol Sleng prison (codename S21) - the prison where people were held before being taken to the killing fields. The museum held the photographs of hundreds of prisoners, including children. It was very upsetting and after a short time we deided enough was enough and headed for the exit. This is where we met one of the survivors of the prison. When the prison was first shut down, it was believed that only seven people had survived the brutality of the place. Mr. Chum Mey was one of these seven. We were shocked that a man who had experienced so much could be so warm and smiley. Needless to say, we bought his book.

Mr. Chum Mey an incredible guy

We headed back to the market for some cheap local food and Bruno being daring ordered a chicken dish, which consisted more of chicken fat, bone and innards. We were both very glad that we ordered veg rice!

As it was our last night we went and explored the night market, which sells all the same things as a regular market except you are shopping in the dark. It was also Dan and David's last night so we went and met them for a couple of farewell bevvies. The next morning we were up bringht and early for our bus to VIETNAM BAAABY. 

Next stop: Ho Chi Minh City.

Kampot and Kep

We Arrived into Kampot after a lovely little mini bus ride and went straight to Olly's place on the river front. It was a beautiful guesthouse and for $5 a bungalow per night it was ridiculous value for money! It was a little out of Kampot, so we walked in along the river - lavly jabbly. Elaine and Eanna had recommended 'the rusty keyhole' for its famous ribs and soon enough we were tucking into the most succulent pork ribs we have ever had. Daniel and David pulled up on their mopeds (studs) and after a couple of bevies we found ourselves playing a rather sweaty pool tournament, thank goodness David introduced us to the wonders of talc!

View from Olly's

Great rack

Pool champ

The next day we both manned up and hired a moped each. With our helmets securely fastened, we were off up the mountain Bakkor. After a slow and somewhat nervous start we got into the swing of it and the nerves turned into enjoyment. The views on the way up the mountain were unbelievable, and the brand new roads made for a brilliant ride.

Biker chick

Absolute gran

Once at the top we went to a waterfall which looked a little dry then rode across to the casino. We didn't really understand what a casino was doing at the top of a mountain but we bet a dollar…and promptly lost a dollar.

Bit dry

Making the most of our transportation we headed off to Kep, famous for its crab. After finally arriving (the roads were horrendous there were doubts as to whether we would make it) we pulled up to the local market. The women there were just pulling baskets full of crabs out of the sea – we don’t know where they were all coming from! Kat swiftly ordered a kilo and the woman brought them over, still shuffling around in the bag, to check if Kat was happy before sending them off for a very hot bath.

Crabby

Within 10 minutes they were back, and armed with a knife we both went for it. They were so fresh that even Imy enjoyed a bit of their meaty pincer! Kat was in fishy heaven.
We were still slightly peckish after crab so we hit up the local pizzeria and got a cheesy feast - best pizza since we have been away.

Fish delight

If we thought the roads were bad on the way there, we were in for a shock when we set off for home. We appeared to have hit Cambodian rush hour. There were massive trucks all over the road and the amount of dust they were creating was a rather hazardous. Being the expert moped drivers that we now were, this was not an issue for us and we made it home in one piece...with half of the road surface now coated on our skin... mucky pups.

Next stop: the capital city of Pnom Penh.

Koh Rong: The Island of Dreams

So our little boat trip started with a girl spewing in front of us all and Imy commenting, 'she better not come anywhere near me'. Anyway, she turned out to be Elaine and actually a pretty cool gal, accompanied by her equally hungover companion Eanna (pronounced like 'anal', but without the 'l').


Two hours later we arrived in heaven and were taken to Mr. Hain's guesthouse - the sweetest Cambodian man we have met and Kat's new best friend. Not only could we already see bright white sand and turquoise sea, but we also passed a litter of puppies!

Puppy love

Imy was off to start her PADI and Kat went off to explore what the Island had to offer. She didn't get very far though, as the beach near the pier was an absolute stunner, so she plonked herself down there for the day.

The main beach

The island speciality seems to be BBQ, especially BBQ fish, so that night we met up with Elaine, Eanna and a new friend Kiki (Dutch and only 17 years old!) for some top notch grub. After a couple of drinks we bedded down for our early start.

On her second day of the PADI Imy finally made it into the water, after her first day of theory/watching health and safety videos. Her super-hot Spanish instructer, Jorge (pronounced Hor-hey), broke her in gently, but she was still a little freaked out when it came to mask-taking-off-time, under the ocean, surrounded by sea urchins - spikey little cretins. She nailed that part, but unfortunately found getting onto the boat a little tricky and as per usual sliced her foot open on the barnacles that were attached to the boat. Muppet.

First Dive DONE

Thankfully, Kat hadn't managed to scare off our new friends, so we ventured past the first beach together. After a bit of a jungle trek, we came across the most beautiful beach ever, which only had one lone bar on it and the rest was completely empty for us to enjoy! A day of sunbathing, bobbing and eating ensued.

Tabeetah makes an appearance

Paradise

We were reunited for dinner, and on Eanna's recommendation headed to La Mami's Italian for dinner, where  Mami was our waitress, bartender and chef all rolled into one. She was quite the character and dished up the best carbonara Imy's ever had! We then headed to Coco's for some drinks...but being the crafty crocs that we are, resorted back to our student days of smuggling in a bottle of voddi to save the pennies. We also made some new friends in the form of father-son duo David and Daniel.

Day 3: Imy went diving and became a certified diver!! Kat hung about on the beach some more. We then said a very sad farewell to Eanna and Elaine, who were heading back to the mainland. 

Certified divers!

The next day, Kat was giddy with joy at having her playmate back, and alongside Kiki and some other Dutchies we headed off on a boat trip. An hour late, Davy (the captain) finally got his act together and we set off for a small island to do some snorkelling. Unfortunately, half way there the engine cut out, so practical Davy decided that we should fish instead. He then got the engine going and quickly changed his mind, so we pulled up the lines and got our snorkels out. We saw some monks learning to snorkel! 

The dingbat that is 'Captain Davy'

Imy AKA Karl Pilkington

After a quick snorkel, we got back on the boat for a second snorkel stop, only for the engine to cut out again! The now familiar phrase of "ok, we fish" was said and the lines were dropped. Kiki was an absolute natural but once caught she had a moral dilemma of what to do with the "effing fish"... so she just left it flapping about on the surface, still attached to her hook. Imy caught a weeny one, Kat caught none. Davy's mate was a fish guru and he was pulling a fish out of the water every few seconds. With enough fish caught, and after Davy had completey taken the engine apart, blown every part and then put it back together again, we were off to Long Beach (7km long) to watch the sunset and feast on the day's catch.

Sunset bob

National Geographic?

We met some people on the boat back to the main beach (at this point our boat was being towed) and met up that night for a cracking game of Mafia, led by Joanna. A little tipsy, we were gutted that our time on the island had come to an end but were looking forward to the joys of Kampot!

Serious game of Mafia