Tuesday 28 May 2013

Hoi An to Hue the Easyriders way

We were up bright and early to start our motorbike adventure. Cuong (nicknamed "Strong man" despite him being 5'1") had Kat on the back of his hefty bike, while Imy made her own way on a moped. It was perfect weather for a spot of motorbiking and we couldn't wipe the smiles off our faces. Cuong had promised to show us some of the more touristy things first, so we stopped off at Marble Mountain and explored the network of shrines and caves that form the mountain. It was pretty impressive, but without the breeze we were unbearably hot and headed back for the bikes sharpish.


Shrine-tastic

I'm in a cave


We made our way to China Beach next, where we sat and took in the view, while Cuong had yet another cigarette. A quick trip up the Hoi Van Pass gave us some pretty amazing views of the coastline and we had a cracking iced coffee, but the incessant woman trying to sell us a load of crap got too much, so we carried on on our journey.


Kat and Cuong

Bikes enjoying the scenery

Us enjoying the scenery



After a little while, Cuong took us to a local joint for some lunch. You could tell it was local by the amount of bone and innards included in the meal. That said, it was good grub and we were set for our trip to the waterfall. We were so ready for a swim in the waterfall because it was a roaster of a day! Cuong, being the big brave strong man that he is, jumped in from the side, but scared for our safety, he isn't that we entered safely by climbing down. There was a lovely group of pissed Vietnamese trying to tempt us over with their beers, but we declined politely and swam about in the fresh-water pool, counting our lucky stars for bumping into Cuong.


Seals

Bond girl

Sitting on a boulder



Unfortunately, getting out of the pool wasn't as easy as getting in, and Imy found herself flopping about like a stranded seal, unable to heave her gut up the rock. The Vietnamese piss heads rolled around laughing at her display before gathering themselves enough to start taking photos.


Floppy seal

Locals getting on it


Time was getting on a bit and we started to make our way to the small town that we'd be staying in. We passed through tiny villages, where kids came running up to us waving and shouting "hello". We stopped off in one of the tiny villages so Cuong could show us how they make rice wine. He had some business on the phone to attend to, and while he was doing that the locals gathered around us and had a good old laugh at our "bright red skin", which we saw as more of a healthy golden glow. Just as the circle of people was getting a bit to close for comfort, Cuong was finished and we were off again, this time riding into the sunset. The sunset brought with it a rain storm, so we donned plastic bags that they market as waterproof ponchos and raced to the hotel. 


Pretty sure this was an illegal distillery

Chhiiildreeen

We arrived wet through, with wrinkly skin from the soaking. Dinner was a great success and Cuong got pissed as a fart off rice wine. Knackered from the day's events, we headed to bed early so we'd be ready for the next day of riding. 

The Ho Chi Minh trail awaited us and within twenty minutes we found ourselves on the famous trail, not believing how beautiful the scenery could be. There were waterfalls everywhere and winding roads around mountains. We passed through tiny towns, where wooden houses were scattered around rice paddies and even more kids smiled and waved as we passed. At one point we came to a tunnel that was home to a herd of cows and we had to dodge around them to get through.


Cow tax

Hubby and wifey

Strike a pose


The trail hasn't been fully renovated yet, so a bit of off-road riding was in order. This was all fine and dandy until the heavens opened again, transforming the road into an ice rink. Slipping all over the shop, Cuong kept the pace slow and steady. To the great amusement of Imy, the weight of Kat and her bag was too much for Strong Man to handle, and in slow motion we fell to the side, bike and all. Scrambling to our feet, Imy had to help Cuong lift the bike and we hopped straight back on to try again,  Cuong was mortified about the incident and kept saying that Imy was a better driver than he was and that he should let her lead the tours in future. (This was true).


Second waterfall strong man took us to

STRONG MAN


Finally we came to the end of the slippy stuff and were back on a proper road. We finished up driving through Hue, where Imy felt like a local, nipping through the other traffic on her moped. Cuong dropped us off at our hotel and we were gutted to see him go. We love Strong Man always and forever!!


Family photo

Monday 20 May 2013

Hoi An

We got the free shuttle bus from our hotel to the centre of Hoi An (Tailor Town). First order of the day was some brekki. While we ate, a nice man named Cuong approached us and within a couple of minutes we had signed up to an Easyrider tour with him, which would take us from Hoi An to Hue by motorbikes. It seemed that we were having an impulsive day, as a few minutes later we found ourselves in a tailor's shop that had not been recommended by anyone or any guide, and thirty minutes later Kat had ordered a "Burberry" trench coat. Cue minor breakdown upon exiting the tailors. 


"Oooohhh wwoooowww big bottom"


To cool Kat's nerves as much as anything, we went back to the hotel for a swim in the freezing cold pool. Later on, Kat persuaded Imy that we should go to the beach so we took the hotel's pushbikes and cycled to Am Bang beach. It was an absolute beauty and we ate lunch on our deckchairs. Imy fell asleep, leaving Kat to watch the Vietnamese kids play in the waves and the little round boats bob about in the water. 


Bike-ride view

Before she conked out

Bobbing about


That evening, we crossed the bridge and turned left to find the food stalls recommended by Meg. What a recommendation! We had Cao Lau (noodles, veg, pork and a sauce) and Crispy Wanton. It was the best food we had in vietnam! Big up Mr. Tien's.


Ooh yeah, good noods


D-Day dawned for Kat and it was time to see if the coat would in anyway match up to her high hopes.  Thankfully it did, otherwise Imy would have had a tantrum to deal with. Caught up in the excitement, Imy ordered a coat to be made that she didn't even want. We then biked around the old town, stopping at the Japanese Pagoda Bridge and the local market. Yet again, Imy got tempted by the tailors and ordered a made-to-measure pair of "Nike" trainers! There was no stopping her. In fear that we would blow our whole budget in a few days, we went back to the hotel for a sunbathing session. 


Chuffed

Career possibility

Market

Japanese Pagoda bridge


On our way back into town, we bumped into Alex and Rose, who hopped on the back of our bikes and we went back to pick up Imy's new items. She was just as chuffed as Kat had been, and the Converse soles on the bottom of her Nike  trainers only added to their uniqueness. After meandering around the Old Town some more, we introduced Alex and Rose to Mr. Tien's, where we were received back with open arms, a big smile and free bananas.

Gutted that we couldn't stay longer in Hoi An, we headed back to the hotel to prepare for our bike tour. 


Next stop: Hoi Van Pass and the Ho Chi Minh Trail.

Nha Trang

We arrived quite late but Kat managed to source an absolute bargain of a hotel, while Imy minded the bags. Feeling peckish, we strolled down the road to a hot dog joint and enjoyed a taste of the west. A spontaneous decision was made and we booked onto a snorkel trip for the next day. Little did we know that we had just booked on to the ultimate booze cruise, where "partying hard" was the main objective. Therefore, at 10am we found ourselves sipping on a beer and cringeing to the pit of our stomach at the 18 year olds prancing about to Carly Rae Jepson (although Kat couldn help a little foot tap in time to the tuuune).

BOOZE CRUISE

The first stop was an aquarium - not quite what we were expecting from the firt 'snorkel stop' but of course we didn't want to shell out any more dollar, so we sat around waiting for everyone. Back on the boat we were jubilant when we finally stopped at an actual snorkel spot. Donning our old-school masks we hit the crystal clear water and squealed with delight at the little fish. There were hundreds of Chinese tourists bobbing about in life jackets but luckily for us they didn't dare go out of their depth and we were able to snorkel in peace. 


Beach bum


After snorkelling, it was time for lunch and karaoke; the part of the trip that we had been dreading most. It actually turned our to be the highlight! The crew assembled a make shift drum set and dressed up as lady boys to belt out some tunes before bringing people of different nationalities up on stage to partake in a song from their country. The winner hands down was Japan, who after 2 beers was absolutely sloshed and just kept shouting out "Konnichiwa, I'm from Japan". He then sung his heart out, eyes closed and all.

'The best boy band in Vietnam'

After lunch it was time to jump off the top deck of the boat and enjoy the floating bar in a rubber ring. Next on the agenda of fun was sunbathing on deck chairs, which you obviously had to pay more money for. Alongside the annoying youngsters, we opted to stay on the boat, where a Puerto Rican whittered at us for what seemed like hours. Finally it was time to head back and we couldn't wait to meet back up with Alex and Rose, who were due to arrive that evening.

The floating bar

Daring devil

Opting to avoid the Sailing Club, the snazzy beach joint where eveyone from the boat trip had agreed to meet, we went across the road and made the most of happy hour, while playing pool with a nice Irish chap called Tommy. Imy kicked his butt.
Reunited with Rose and Alex, we made our way to Nha Trang's famous mud baths early the next morning. Covering ourselves in the brown gunk was actually quite a pleasant experience. Once our 15mins of fun was done we had a shower, then a mineral shower and finally a mineral bath. We felt like absolute ladies of leisure as we sat beside the pool drying off with ice creams in our chubby little hands.

Mineral bath

We spent the afternoon at the beach, choosing bracelets and nipping into the sailing club's loos whenever nature called.

Shagglers (sh*t hagglers)

All too soon it was time for our bus to Hoi An and Imy had to say a sad farewell to Kim, the (male) Cambodian group leader that she had become a tad obsessed with.

Friday 17 May 2013

Mui Ne


Thinking Mui Ne would be a pristine beach town, we were a tad surprised to turn up and find a desolate Russian tourist resort. But alongside our bus pals, Rose and Alex, we managed to find some rather nice little bungalows. A walk along the one road that constitutes Mui Ne proved that there wasn't much more to see or do other than one of the tours that takes you to the nearby sand dunes, so we booked onto one for the following day.


We love a good hammock


After dinner at the cheapest restaurant we could find, we popped down to the local quiz night at the fanciest bar in town. We thought our valiant efforts would place us about sixth, but thanks to Imy knowing the names of Henry VIII's three illigitiate children and Rose being able to identify the theme tune to Ally McBeal, we came FIRST!! Absolutely buzzing from our win, we sipped on our winners' cocktails beside the pool, grinning like goons.

Number one baaaby

Winners' cocktails


After our tour guide eventually decided to rock up we headed off for the sand dunes. We first stopped at the fairy stream, where our delightful tour guide gave us half an hour to roam. We wandered up the stream and stumbled across an ostrich. Seizing the opportunity, we all had a ride around the enclosure. The ostrich was not a happy bunny. Scared that we had contracted ostrich rabies, we headed back to our radgey guide who took us to take photos of a fishing village.

Fairy in the fairy stream


Hold on tight

A damn fine ostrich



We then got to the white sand dunes and finally had the opportunity to partake in a little sand boarding. We had a race and Imy trumped Kat, before Rose took her down a peg or two in a full-on crash - really fun, apart from the aftermath of sand in every crevice possible. To finish the day, we were taken to the red sand dunes to watch the sunset. However, due to a sky full of ominous clouds it wasn't the best we have seen.


Sand crash

Took us ages to write that...

Sunset

After such a tiring day we headed to the sea front for a fresh fish supper (chicken for Imy). Kat finally got what she had been wanting for so long..a whole fresh lobster just for her!! It was a crustacean of meaty deliciousness.


Lobster destroyer


The next day we enjoyed a lovely relaxing morning beside a fancy pool, before trogging off to Nha Trang in the afternoon.

So at home

Thursday 9 May 2013

Ho Chi Minh City

Determined to outdo the scammers, we walked form the drop-off point to our hostel, which took all of 5 minutes. The 'kind' tuk tuk driver had told us it would be a half-hour walk. Kat and Imy: 2, Scammers: 1. Again we found ourselves in the lap of luxury in our A/C dorm..we could certainly get used to this.

To make the most of our day, we headed for the War remnants museum. On the way, we stopped off down a side alley to sample our first taste of local Vietnamese food. Luckily there was an english-speaking customer on the table next to us who trasnslated our order for the waiter, as he was a little confused by our hand gestures and crys for noodles. We had Pho Bo (a beef noodle soup) - the first of many Phos.


Pho Bo


We made it to the museum in no time due to Kat's skills as a walking GPS system. We raced around it as we only had an hour before it closed. It was another really sad reality of what people had to endure during the Vietnam war and we left with a desire to learn a lot more about the history of the country, so we bought a couple of books from a street vendour - one about the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia and one about Vietnam. On closer inspection, it transpired that the books were photocopies of the originals! We wondered why they were so cheap. Kat and Imy: 2, Scammers: 2.


Attention!


The next morning, we headed on a tour to the Cu Chi tunnels - a network of tiny tunnels that the Viet Cong used to fight the Americans. They were home to twelve thousand people for over two years and  contained kitchens, hospitals and "honeymoon suites".  On the way, we stopped at 'Handicapped Handcrafts'. Not wanting to purchase any giant vases, we sat in the shade and waited to get back on the bus. Our guide was brilliant, and constantly took the mick out of us fat westerners for not being able to fit in the tunnels, while he himself sported quite a gut. He showed us the markings on the trees which were used as a code, so that the Vietnamese would know whether the nearby tunnel was a safe zone or one of their ingenious traps. With a severe lack of weaponry, the Vietnamese had to be creative.

In and our pretty sharpish!

Western-adapted entry point

Peekaboo

Teeny tunnels



Our trip to the Cu Chi tunnels also offered us the chance to fire AK47s. Jumping at the chance, we donned big headphones and bought some ammo. We both think we were pretty good aims, but who knows!

Natural

Weakling


That evening we sat on tiny chairs on a bustling backpacker street. We bumped into a Welshman we had met in India who lives in Ho Chi Minh! So we tagged along with him and his pals. After watching them down several buckets of Vodka and Redbull, we declined their kind offer of getting on the back of their mopeds and going to a club, and instead stayed put at a nearby bar. 

Backpacker haven

20p beer!!


Next stop: Mui Ne for some beach time.