Australia: 4 weeks in 1 blog

Desperate for some home comforts, we were off for the land of Oz! Unfortunately for Imy, it was more of a brown-brick road than a yellow-brick one, after a slightly messy incident in Bangkok airport. But soon enough, we were in the welcoming embrace of big-sis Lauren and settling into her home a little too easily. Lauren had an amazing itinerary ready for the evenings of the first week, which left us with plenty of time to sit and catch up on some awesome TV (Sons of Anarchy (watch it!)). We were also reunited with Katzy (Michael) who introduced us to his wonderful family, who not only treated us to a real Aussie BBQ, with some delicious roo on offer, but also afternoon tea with his legendary Nana. It was also time for Kat to be reunited with Mama Park!

We've compiled a list of our top 10 Aussie highlights, so here they are...

1) The Great Ocean Road.
The name doesn't do it justice, as it wasn't just great it was bloody brilliant. Imy and Lauren hired a car (roooaadd trriiippp) and made their way down it, just in time to catch the The 12 Apostles and London Bridge at sunset. Imy also caught sight of her first kangaroo... it's just a shame it was roadkill.

Sissies on tour 2013

12 Apostles

London Bridge beauties

Kat and Wenners opted to do a day tour, and it's just as well that we did because it tipped it down all day and at some points the rain was horizontal. Luckily it cleared up in time for the last few stops (The 12 Apostles and Loch Ard Gorge) and it didn't stop us spotting the wild koalas along the way!

Parks on tour 2013

Loch Ard Gorge loving

2) Mornington Peninsula Spa and Phillip Island

Kat and Wenners hired a car for the day and after a slightly shaky start, we were on our way to Mornington Peninsula Spa. We were having such a good time in the hot pools that we stayed a tad longer than expected and had to whizz off for Phillip Island to make it in time for the Penguin Parade. Along the way, we stopped at a cattle farm (bit random), where we treated ourselves to tea and scones. We made it in time for the Penguin Parade, where each night hundreds of mini penguins pop out of the sea and make their way home. They were mega cute and it was great to see them in their natural habitat, although it was a little bit nippy to say the least.

Pampered princess

View from the top

Cow farm

Penguin paparazzi

Lauren and Imy squeezed these into the same road trip as The Great Ocean Road. We got to the Spa bright and early but apparently not early enough as it was already over taken with Chinese people, who loved to play a game called "how many people can we fit into a natural pool until no on can enjoy it anymore". We did however find a few less occupied ones which were a real treat to relax in and the pool right at the top of the hill gave a beautiful view of the surrounding area. We then dashed off to go and see what for Imy was the highlight of the weekend...kangaroooooosss. They were well worth the wait, it was so fun to get up so close to them and feed them all. There were also plenty of wallabies that wanted feeding too, so being the good Samaritans that we were, we fed them too. We were also lucky enough to have a mumma Roo come up to us and the baby Joey kept bobbing his head out - very cute.
We then rushed over to the ocean to catch a glimpse of the penguins too. They really were tiny but had a  good waddle on them, giving them some serious speed.

Oooohhh fancy

Getting hot and steamy

Loz and all her mates

Dr. Doolittle

3) Melbourne Arcades and graffiti
We (Kat and Imy) did our own little walking tour of Melbourne, taking in some of the best arcades and graffiti that Melbourne has to offer. We were enjoying some of the graffiti that some people with real talent had taken time over, when two 15 year-olds thought they were really clever by "tagging" over these pieces. Morons. Hopefully our disapproving looks told them otherwise. It was a really good way to get around the back streets of Melbourne and in one of the arcades a nice Italian man took pitty on us, giving us a free fruity yogurt each!

Badass graffiti

Arcade stroll

For frrreeeeeeeeeeeeee

Talent of Melbs

James Park??

4) The Bombers game with Michael
Being the hardcore fan that he is, Michael was the best person to introduce us to the world of AFL (Australian Football League), which is their own take on rugby/American football/football. As with any sporting event it is only right to start in the pub with a beer, we happily obliged and Michael kitted us out in some Bombers scarves. It was a bit of a slow start, which gave Michael the opportunity to fill us in on some of the rules. By the last quarter though we were biting our nails and screaming with the crowd, as the Bombers were drawing with Carlton. With seconds to go, the Bombers pulled it out of the bag and won by 5 points (1 goal)!! It was a great game by any standards, made even better by the fact that we were supporting the winning team.

Fans for life!!

MCG

See the Bombers fly up, up!

5) Imy Joined a Football team for 4 weeks.
Within two days of arriving Lauren's mate had space on an indoor mixed football team so I jumped at the chance and was starting on Wednesday. It was so much fun and the team were good too! The only problem that seemed apparent immediately was my fitness, that appeared to have left me a long time ago! For the next four weeks I got to play with them, hopefully getting slightly fitter in the process.

Cracking corner

Go on girl

6) Chicken Parma
Having heard so much about this dish, we were buzzing to finally try it. Michael took us (Kat, Imy, Lauren and Wenners) to a great place with "Parmas from around the world" and we all tucked in to a hearty meal of bread-crumbed chicken (minus food poisoning), sauce and chips. It was right up our street and filled us to the brim.

7) Wendy and Kat walk from Bondi to Coogee
Eager to explore the beautiful beaches around Sydney, and with  spot of cracking weather, we headed for Bondi. It was a first for both Wendy and me because on my first trip I'd some how forgotten to go. The moment we got to Bondi, Wendy went for a frolic in the sea. She soon retreated from the freezing cold water though. Along the coastal walk to Coogee we stuffed our faces, stopped for coffee and gawped at some surfers, which meant we managed to drag the walk out for a good few hours, and loved every second of it.

Bondi bbz

Was it a tad windy Wendy?

Bondi lads

8) Lauren and Imy's Trip to the Blue Mountains
This was a first for both of us and with the sun shining it was set to be a good day. Our guide was an interesting fellow who made the trip even more enjoyable. The first view we got was over the whole valley and we found out how it got its name as all of the trees gave of a bluey/grey mist which was beautiful. We saw plenty of wildlife and natural beauties as the mountains continued to open in front of us. The guide also took the opportunity to paint Imy's face with some 'tribal artwork'. We finished at the three sisters which were also beautiful. It was however some young boy running round dressed as Batman that kept us laughing the whole time we were there!

Blue mountains innit

View from the top

Squinty

Waterfall of gold

Na na na na na na na na BATMAN

9) Dame Edna Beverage and the Sydney Symphony Orchestra
Determined to see something at the Sydney Opera House, we got tickets for the only thing showing, Dame Edna Beverage. To our great surprise and delight, it turned out that it was actually Edna Beverage alongside the Sydney Symphony Orchestra! A pretty odd combo, but one that worked. The Orchestra brought heaps of talent, while old Edna added some humour to the mix. It was a great night and a lovely way to send off Mamma Park.

Opera House tour

Splendid Symphony

10) Hitting up Kings Cross nightlife and one of Harry's pies
The Palms Hostel had a great crowd, especially the crazy Italians, and we all headed out to Kings Cross Hotel for a boogie. The night was going brilliantly until we bumped into a stupid American in the toilets, who told Imy she was 18 and ugly. Cue a minor scuffle and a major dampener to the night, but it was the early hours of the morning and we were ready to call it a night anyway. Lauren had a rather more successful night...you could say it was "sparkling". Hungover and needing some comfort food, we headed to Harry's de Wheels for one of his infamous Tiger Pies. A perfect end to a wicked time in Oz.

Can't hack the pace!

Harry sorted us out

Well done Australia, you've revived us and nourished, making us ready for travelling again!

Byyyyeee Sydders!

Vang Vieng

So with high expectations and looking for a good time we headed to the piss-up capital of Laos. Upon arrival it was clear that its hayday had been and gone. All that was left behind was a slight ghost town with many empty bars and restaurants playing the same repeats of Friends and Family Guy!

That said, we made some more friends on the bus ride and were all determined to make the most of our time in Vang Vieng. Our first night out was a bit of a corker. Everyone headed to The Moon, where we threw some serious shapes and tried to figure out who was male and who was female - not an easy task.

The next day was a rainy affair so our trip to the Blue Lagoon was called off and instead we spent our day in the Aussie Bar with Rose, Jackie and Josh, playing pool and eating western food. Unfortunately for Imy it didn't go down too well with her gut and a serious bout of food poisoning kicked in around 4am.

Tubing was looking like it would be off the cards but, again, Imy-the-trooper pulled through and at midday we all headed out to grab some tubes and bob down the river. Luckily, we'd managed to get quite a big group together, despite the desolate town. Kat and Jackie had some serious issues when it came to tubing, and while the others floated effortlessly down the river to the first bar, they could be seen splashing about as they frantically tried to catch up. The first bar was great, with free shots, beer pong and volley ball. The second bar wasn't so great but we got creative and played some drinking games. The alcohol didn't help Kat's coordination much and tubing became an everincreasing impossible task.

Get us to the river

Time to float

One of only two bars left

Whooping everyone at beer pong...

Floaters

After a great day, we arrived back at the hotel to find that yet again Laos had attacked the tourists, and Jackie & Josh's hotel room had been robbed. Wanting to leave ASAP, we arranged a bus to Viantiene, so we could get a flight down to Bangkok and avoid any more palava crossing borders etc. We checked ourselves into a nicer-than-normal hotel in the hope that no more sh**t would be hitting the fan. Everything went according to plan and before we knew it, we were heading to the relative safety of Bangkok. 

Laos - Where the sh*t hit the fan

We jumped onto our bus in Hanoi excited and raring to get to Laos. Alex and Rose had sent us off with the best snack pack ever and we were sure that the next 30 hours of traveling would pass in a heart beat. Too good to be true, within half an hour of being on the bus a guy we had just met scared the crap out of us with his drug-smuggling horror stories. Apparently we were taking the exact route that some girl had done when someone slipped some drugs into her bag. She is currently in prison somewhere in Laos! This may not have been so bad if it wasn't for the fact that it was now pitch black outside, there were only five tourists on the bus and that it kept stopping at all these decidedly dodgy spots. We later found out that they were putting livestock under the bus, not drugs in our bags. Kat and Imy 1, Laos 0.

After only 24 hours we arrived in Luang Prabang. We couldn't believe we'd arrived a whole 6 hours early! Kat and Imy 2, Laos 0. We refueled on some noodles, headed to our nicely air-conditioned room (we splashed out because we're worth it) and promptly fell asleep.

We spent the next day enjoying a wander round Luang Prabang and enjoying all it had to offer.

Maybe the Mekong Delta

Temple prancer

Luang Prabang

Being the keen biker chicks that we are, we decided to hire some mopeds and go on an adventure to the waterfall. This is when it all went wrong. An evil cretin of a man, who we wish serious harm to, rode up beside Imy and forced her to stop by cutting her up and making her slam on the brakes. He then jumped off his motorbike and took out a knife, grabbing Imy's bag off her back. Kat realised what was going on, dropped her still-running bike and started wailing like a banshee as she ran towards the crime scene, arms flailing and all. They both looked up, in shock of the stupidity, before he carried on the brutal mugging. Imy was an absolute trooper throughout and was a pillar of strength for the distraught Kat. I think that makes it Kat and Imy 2, Laos 2,000,000.



We carried on to the waterfall as we were only 4km away. It was pretty hard to care about the waterfall after what had happened but we tried to dry Kat's puffy eyes and took a quick look, hoping to find someone to ride back with. Luckily, we met back up with the group of boys off the bus and they took us under their wing and rode back with us.

The waterfall

Sunies hiding the pain

We went straight to the police station to file a report. They seemed nice enough and told us to come back the next day to collect the report, once the officer's captain had a chance to look over it. We did just that, but the mother fudgers well and truly screwed us over. They refused to give Imy the report, which she needs to claim back what she's lost on insurance! They were really horrible to us and sent us away with nothing. Not wanting to spend another second in Luang Prabang, we got straight on the bus to Vang Vieng.

Fingers crossed tubing will cheer us up a bit.

Sapa

Our final destination in Vietnam was Sapa, and after another customary overnight bus ride we finally got there. Poor old Rose arrived a slightly different person though, as she had to endure a Vietnamese man pleasuring himself all night on the neighbouring bed. Luckily we escaped that one! Sapa is infamous for its stunning scenery, with hills rolling on top of each other for as far as the eye can see, all layered with mini paddy fields.

Paddy fields 

Grass Horse

From the moment we stepped off the bus it was pretty clear that Sapa was even better than the pictures we had seen. Si, the best guide ever, greeted us off the bus and we started our two day trek into the rolling hills. The group consisted of about 7 tourists and 10 locals 'assisting us' (later on they took the baskets off their backs and tried to flog us all the items they had been carrying). But Si was a different kettle of fish and told us all about the local customs and her native tounge.

Awesome foursome

Si

We trekked for a couple of hours before we stopped off at a local haunt for some lunch. Kids swarmed around us trying to sell bracelets. We all felt great for bargaining the kids down from 10,000 kip to 1,000 kip for a bracelet each. We felt pretty great, that is, until we realised that we had given them a meagre 3 pence! So we ended up buying about ten each to make up for it.

Piggy-back

Yummy...bacon

The best part of the trip was just about to start, as we were all staying at a local home stay with a family. There were about 17 people staying with this one family and they cooked dinner for all of us. The absolute icing on the cake were their three children, and more specifically, Bo.

Bo

The cutest child in the world

They were the most content and happy children we have seen since we've been away, playing with all of us and demanding that we pick them up and swing them around in intervals. They made the house we were staying at really feel like a home. After a scrummy dinner and a few shots of whatever they handed us, we headed to bed.

Sunset over the paddys

Waking up in one of the most beautiful places in the world was only made better by the fact that the kids all still wanted to play. Bo was loving Kat's Fray-bans and Imy's flat peak.

We started off on our second day with not a lot of walking to do really and that left plenty of time for everyone to make the most of the beautiful waterfall. Kat, wasting no time, was in there like a rabbit on heat. We then made our way to Si's home town where we finished the tour with noodle soup and a fried egg floating in the middle. Delicious.

Nice view

Mesmerising 

After such an incredible couple of days, we were dreading having to get back on the night bus but little did we know what was in store for us. The warning signs were raised when we saw the public masturbator boarding our bus. When we got on the bus, the driver demanded that we had to sit at the back, we didn't really want to as he was forcing the point quite hard. When we refused, he started to smack Imy's bottom and grab Kat's arm. To avoid any more hassle, we did as he wanted and got to the back. It really wasn't  that bad, with lots of room and a bit of privacy we thought we had done quite well! Then the bus started filling up until there were no more seats available. The bus driver slowly made his way down to us with a local in tow and a sheepish look on his face. He pointed at the 20 cm of space in between Rose and Imy and without so much as a glance in our direction, ordered the man to squeeze between us. Imy was just lucky that the little Vietnamese dude wanted to cuddle up with Rose instead. It was safe to say another horrendous night of limited sleep ensued.

Back to Hanoi. Next destination Laos, Luang Pra Bang.

Hanoi and Halong Bay

Upon arrival in Hanoi we got a taxi and we were extremely chuffed that a cabby would let us go on the meter. Unfortunately, within 5 minutes we knew why...the fare was already at a hefty 150,000 dong -a-long (nearly 4 pounds). We finally got to what would become our stopping base camp for the next week, the Funky Monkey Hostel. Within minutes we found ourselves signed up to a Halong Bay tour and a Sapa tour, we were equally excited and buzzing for them both. Alex and Rose rocked up around midday and we spent the day wandering around Hanoi, looking in the shops and finding some spot-on street food.

More interested in the ice cream than the sights

Best street food in Hanoi

That evening, we met two of Alex's friends who have moved to Hanoi, Meg and Cam. They took us to a great little BBQ place to eat before heading to the Old Quarter and squatting on mini stools to enjoy a beer or two.

Cracking BBQ

Bia Hoi

The next day we were off to Halong Bay! After about four hours on a coach, and having consumed our entire snack pack, we arrived at the harbour and boarded our boat, where we were finally given some lunch. Being the fatties that we are, we then proceeded to go around every other table eating their left overs. The first part of the trip was a visit to a big cave that had disco lights everywhere, obviously the natural beauty wasn't enough for the Vietnamese who thought bright flashing lights were far more fun. We couldn't agree more!

Gone in 60 seconds 

Disco disco

We boated around Halong Bay a bit more and were informed that Halong Bay is a collection of 1969 islands. Interestingly, this number corresponds to the year that Ho Chi Minh died. Fact of the day. We pulled up at a little floating village and had the opportunity to do some kayaking. For an extra 60,000 dong you could pay a little old lady to kayak in "her cave", as she apparently owned the cave. Opting out of this extortion, we kayaked around the bay and found a hole in a big rock to kayak through, which we reckoned was way more fun that her stupid cave.

Keen kayaker

Through the hole

Halong Bay

After some more boating, we were dropped off on Cat Ba Island, which was our home for the evening. Unfortunately the bus had broken down, so a two-hour wait was in order before we finally made it to the hotel. A rather tame night on the razz was in order. For us stingey ladies Rose Bar was an absolute winner, as ladies drank for free!

Bright and early the next day, it was time to hike to the top of a mountain. Alex, AKA Jungle Jane, kept us all motivated despite the mosquito attack and we were the first ones to the top. At the top there were lovely views across the island and a rather sketchy watch-tower that you could climb. With knees knocking, we made it to the top and managed to get a few pictures before the fear racked up a level and we all rushed down.

Jungle Jane

The top of the tower

Flushed

After a spot of lunch back at the hotel, we were one of the lucky few who were picked up for a trip to Monkey Island. Our nagging had obviously paid off as some unlucky sods were left on Cat Ba for the whole day. The monkeys on Monkey Island were really radgey and chased all the tourists out of the bar, so we just hung out on the beach and bobbed in the sea.

Bobbing

Sunning

That evening was our turn to sleep on the boat. We absolutely scored with our boat as there wasn't a cockroach or rat in sight! Dinner was served, followed by some rather tipsy karaoke. Kat was straight up there and belting out the ballads, but Imy took a little bit more Dutch courage before she finally took to the mike.

Mariah Carey on the mike

The next day, with slightly banging headaches, we headed back to Hanoi having absolutely loved Halong Bay.

Next stop: Sapa